My (husband, wife, son, daughter, friend, co-worker) has been a problem for a long time now. He/she keeps getting into trouble and every time it happens I tell them the next time they do that (whatever the "that" is - coming home drunk, spending money we don't have, not keeping the commitments they made, lying or cheating) I'm going to have to do something, yet they keep doing the same destructive behavior. Can't they see what they are doing to me?
If this scenario sounds at all familiar then co-dependency might be at play for you.
Some of the common traits of co-dependent people are that they
Experience chronic anger
Will lie or be dishonest when it is just as easy to tell the truth
Struggle to effectively express themselves
Have a difficult time making decisions
Struggle to establish and maintain clear boundaries
Do not adjust to change easily
Experience feelings of guilt when asserting themselves
Carry a disproportionate sense of responsibility for the actions of others
Have not learned to know the difference between love and pity, with the tendency to "love" people they can pity and rescue
Over-perform much of the time
Are sensitive and become hurt when people don't recognize their efforts
Frequently have an unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
Possess an extreme need for approval and recognition
Exert their need to control others
Do not like to be alone for fear that means they are being abandoned
Never learned to identify feelings
This seminar illustrates the dynamics of co-dependency, its origins, and a conceptual framework to learn new and healthier behaviors. That said Intervention Partner realizes that co-dependency, more often than not, is a multigenerational phenomenon and that to suggest a single seminar can change one's behaviors is nothing more than a fantasy. This is a foundational seminar, a place to gain awareness - the first of the three part equation for change.
